The Ultimate Showdown of Delusion
by Firelord67
Summary: Chuunibyou Au. Four students, Kazuma, Megumin, Darkness, and Aqua threaten to take over the Far East Magical Napping society. In order to defend their club, The Dark Flame Master and his friends must defeat them in battle.
1. Enter: Kazuma and three girls

**So this is a little experiment I decided to try. I mean, everyone wants cool battles, and thinks that Megumin looks like Rikka. Put em together, and what do you get? This.**

It was an average day at the Far East Magical Napping Society. Nibutani was trying to steal her diary back from Dekamori, Yuuta was playing Shogi with Rikka(who kept barking orders at the pieces like a military commander), and Kumin was sleeping. Everything was calm.

"And that's your last move, Rikka," said Yuuta. His girlfriend's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"I-impossible! The Eye of the Wicked Lord can never be defeated!" she exclaimed. While the power of her Chuunibyou was mighty, Rikka still fell short in terms of strategy.

Suddenly, the vice principal's voice came over the intercom.

"Can the president of the Far-East Magical Napping Society please report to the staff room?"

"Oh, what now?" said Rikka. "My grades are fine!"

"Even math?" said Yuuta.

"Yes, even math!" said Rikka.

"Well, guess we better go see what's up,"

"What do you mean, _we_?" said Nibutani, who has holding Dekamori's hair.

"Well, remember the last time we let Rikka go on her own?"

"Fair point,"

So the FEMNS all walked to the staff room, wondering what could possibly be waiting for them.

When they got there, they saw Nanase waiting for them.

"Oh, hello," she said. "I thought only the president of the club was called,"

"We don't have a defined president," said Yuuta.

"Each of us plays an equal role in maintaining the balance of the club," said Rikka. "Kumin is a Dream Venturer, the Dark Flame Master is the most powerful, Mori Summer is our peacekeeper..."

"Don't call me that!" said Nibutani, her face reddening.

"...Dekamori is my apprentice, and I am the Wicked Lord's vessel,"

"Right..." Nanase awkwardly smiled. "Anyway, a group of students has recently asked to form a club, but we're out of rooms. Then they said that they wanted yours,"

"What?!" said Dekamori. "The Far-East Magical Napping society is far more important than some random hobbyists!"

"Well, they can't just take our clubroom, can they?" said Yuuta.

"That's why I called you here," said Nanase. "I want you to work it out with them yourselves,"

"What?!" exclaimed all of them.

"Well, good luck!" said Nanase. "The students who want your clubroom are waiting in the school courtyard,"

"Work it out?" said Nibutani. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"Telling you how to do things is not my job,"

"Technically, it is,"

"Enough, Mori Summer, let us put these challengers in their place," said Rikka. "The Eye of the Wicked Lord will deal with them easily,"

"Stop calling me that!"

So the FEMNS walked out to the courtyard, preparing to face these new students.

"What kind of club do you think they are?" said Yuuta.

"Maybe a gaming club?" said Nibutani. "We don't have that yet,"

"It doesn't matter, they are only pathetic mortals," said Rikka in her monotone. "The Eye of the Wicked Lord will obliterate them on the spot,"

"Let's not do that, we're kinda already on bad terms with the rest of the school," said Yuuta.

The FEMNS stepped out the door and gasped. Four bizarrely-dressed students were standing in the courtyard.

"You must be the Far-East Magical Napping Society," said the first student. She was a short girl with dark brown hair, mismatched stockings, and a red eyepatch. What was most abnormal, was that her uncovered eye was red and she was holding a tall wooden staff with a red gem on the end of it. "Or should I say, the _former _Far-East Magical Napping Society!"

"Yeah! You probably don't know the first thing about magic!" said the second student. She was a taller girl with long blue hair and a blue bow that matched her blue eyes. She was holding a white staff with a flower on the end of it.

"Guys, chill out," said the only boy. He had brown hair, green eyes, and a cyan mantle with gold trimming. He also had a brown belt, holding a short blade.

"There is no time for chilling out!" said the last student. She was the tallest of them all, with beautiful golden hair tied in a ponytail, a muscular figure, and a white breastplate. "This is war!" she held out a long white sword.

The FEMNS all looked at each other in disbelief.

"What's going on?" Yuuta whispered to Rikka. "I didn't think they also had Chuunibyou!"

"I'm... I'm..." Rikka was at a loss for words.

Dekamori was the first to greet the newcomers.

"So, it is you who wish to take our clubroom away from us?" she said.

"That is correct!" said the red-eyed girl. "I am Megumin, Arch-Wizard of the Crimson Demon clan! Master of explosion magic!"

"You may call me Dekamori!" she replied. "Wielder of the Mjolnir hammer!" she swung her hair about.

Rikka got her head straight and joined the introduction.

"I am Rikka, otherwise known as the Eye of the Wicked Lord!"

"I am Darkness!" said the gold-haired girl. "And I am completely open to being kidnapped and/or tortured!" a blush formed on her face.

"What?" said Nibutani.

"You heard me," said Darkness, her face growing redder. "I bet that boy of yours is just aching to get his sword deep into my body!"

"Right... I'm Nibutani Shinka,"

Everyone waited. Nibutani sighed.

"...otherwise known as Mori Summer, a mage from a thousand years ago,"

"I am Aqua!" said the blue-haired girl. "A fallen goddess of water and the afterlife,"

Yuuta whispered into Rikka's ear.

"Should I introduce myself as me, or the other me?"

"They seem to be the kind who meddle in magic," said Rikka.

"Okay, Dark Flame Master it is then," Yuuta said. He covered his left eye. "I am the Dark Flame Master! My arm contains the mighty Dark Flame Dragon!"

"Hi, I'm Kazuma," said the green-eyed boy. "And I'm a shut-in NEET turned Sword Mage!"

"Um..." Kumin studdered. She didn't have a persona, unlike the other members of the club. Thinking quickly, she said. "I am Kumin... the um... wanderer of the... um... dream realm?"

"Good enough," said Darkness.

Yuuta was still quite surprised. He was sure that their group contained the only students in the school who had Chuunibyou. However, it seemed that he was wrong.

"Okay, now that that's over, let's start talking," said Yuuta. "So, you guys want our clubroom so you can form your own club?"

"Correct," said Megumin. "We are the..." she paused for a second and looked at Kazuma. "What was our club name again?"

"Uh..." Kazuma didn't know what to say. "I don't know?"

The other three of them slapped themselves in annoyance.

"Look, we're just trying to start a club for adventuring, so can we use your room? What are you even doing with it, anyway?" he said.

"We are the Far East Magical Napping Society!" said Rikka.

"And?" said Kazuma.

"We battle! We train! And we nap!" she said.

Megumin scoffed.

"Such trivial affairs are nowhere near as great as adventuring!" she said. "We quest together to slay beasts and collect treasures!"

"How does that even work?" said Yuuta.

"Looks like there's only one way to settle this," said Rikka. "We shall battle, here and now. The winner shall claim the clubroom for themselves!" she dramatically pointed at the adventurers.

"What?" said Nibutani, Kazuma, and Yuuta.

"I agree with you, master!" said Dekamori. "We will win easily!"

Yuuta sighed. Well, he couldn't say that he hadn't been pining for a chance to fight lately.

"Then let us begin," said Megumin. She raised her staff. "Crimson gather!"

"Reality rejected!" said Rikka.

"Hormones flooded!" said Darkness.

"Synapses shattered!" said Dekamori.

"Lend me power!" said Kazuma.

"Spirits awaken!" said Nibutani

"Elves, take flight!" said Aqua.

"Dreams show yourselves!" said Kumin.

"Banishment from this world!" finished Yuuta.

The nine of them stared at each other as reality broke down around them. They were standing in a grassy field, and the sky was dark with the night. Ancient ruins could be seen in the distance.

Now transformed, the Dark Flame Master cackled.

"You see? This is the extent of our power!"

"Let's start this off with a bang!" said Dekamori. She summoned a humongous golden hammer to her hand. "Mjolnir Earthquake!" she struck the ground, sending out a shockwave that blasted the others off their feet, except for Mori Summer who was flying.

"Impressive," said Kazuma, recovering from the blast. He ran up to Dekamori, reaching out with his hand. "Steal!"

In a flash of blue light, a pair of white panties appeared in Kazuma's grip. Dekamori's eyes widened as she checked below her.

"Why you...!" she angrily swung her weapon at Kazuma, who narrowly jumped out of the way.

The Dark Flame Master reached out his own hand.

"Ma Shin Gun!" he said, sending a flurry of magical bullets at Megumin, who was charging an Explosion.

Megumin stopped chanting and gasped, but then Darkness jumped in the way, absorbing the bullets into her armor.

"Her durability is incredible!" said Mori Summer. It was at this point when the FEMNS realized that this battle was going to be much tougher than they thought.

**If you want more, write a review!**


	2. An Explosion gone wrong

"Oh yes!" said Darkness as the bullets sank into her body. Her face turned red, and her pupils grew larger. "That's so good!"

"Is she... enjoying this?" said the Dark Flame Master.

Rikka summoned her Schwarzsechs Prototype Mark III.

"Dark Matter Blaze!" she hurled a sphere of purple energy at Aqua.

"Ah!" she exclaimed. Panicking, she quickly thought of the right spell and said the incantation. "Purification!"

A blue aura emanated from Aqua's hand, dissolving the Dark Matter Blaze into thin air.

"Hah!" said Aqua. "The powers of Darkness are no match for a goddess like me," She chuckled to herself, extremely proud of her feat.

"Okay, how about a physical attack?" said Dekamori, running in with her hammer. "Mjolnir takedown!"

Aqua gasped and panicked. She started running away, but Dekamori was much faster. The hammer went straight down, smashing Aqua into the ground. When Dekamori lifted her hammer, Aqua was lying flat and groaning.

"Why does this always happen to me?" said Aqua.

"Hey! Blondie!" Kazuma called out loud. Dekamori glanced over her shoulder to see Kazuma waving her panties around like a flag. "You want these back?"

"Why you little...!" she dashed after Kazuma, hammer raised. But Kazuma kept running faster and faster, sidestepping Dekamori's attacks.

Meanwhile, Darkness' face was becoming redder and redder, as Dark Flame Master's Ma Shin Gun kept hitting her armor.

"Uh, Rikka?" said the Dark Flame Master. "Should I stop? This seems very wrong,"

"I'll help you!" said Rikka. She raised her weapon. "Nergal Blast!"

A storm of colorful waves blasted into Darkness, causing her to stumble.

"Oh yes!" she said. "Now this is why I became an adventurer!" Sweat was pouring down her skin.

"Nothing working on her!" said the Dark Flame Master, calling off his attack. Just then, Kazuma came running over to them, with Dekamori in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile, Mori Summer was dealing with Aqua.

"Create Water!" said Aqua, firing a torrent of water at Mori Summer, who gasped and narrowly sidestepped it.

"Entrapment Tendrils!" Four purple strips of fabric flew out from Mori Summer's wand, wrapping around Aqua's legs and arms.

"Ah!" said Aqua, as the tendrils dug tightly into her skin, wrapping further and further around her body. "God Blow!" she wrestled out of the tendrils and grabbed hold of them.

Before Mori Summer knew what was happening, Aqua swung her about and tossed her away.

"No!" said Mori Summer. She let out an "Oomph!" as she hit the ground next to the Dark Flame Master.

"No puny divine magician can hold against a goddess archpriest!" said Aqua, triumphantly grinning at Mori Summer. However, she then heard the sound of someone else.

"Destiny Ring!" said Kumin, firing a round of blue rings from her weapon.

Aqua gasped and quickly cast another spell.

"Sacred Create Water!"

This time, a huge wave of water flew out of her hands. Aqua jumped on top, as it flew towards Kumin. Before she could react, the wave swept up the girl and started heading towards the others.

When Aqua reached Kazuma she grabbed him by the hand, causing him to drop Dekamori's panties, and pulled him atop the wave.

"What the..." said Kumin, as the wave dropped her close to her friends.

"Perfect!" said Kazuma, "Now you're all in the same position!"

"Huh?" said Rikka.

"Now Megumin!"

Aqua and Kazuma set themselves down next to Darkness and Megumin.

Darkness quickly hopped behind Megumin, who was still charging her spell.

"...and henceforth be known as the Kingdom of demise..." she said.

"What's she doing?" said Dark Flame Master. Rikka's jaw was hanging wide open.

"No... it can't be," she said.

"...Grant me the most powerful and epic spell in the world!" Megumin opened her eye. Purple energy was swirling around her, and her staff was glowing bright orange. "Explosion!"

A huge orange glowing projectile flew out of her staff, and right in the direction of the FEMNS.

"No!" said Rikka, her pupils shrinking. "Explosion? It's not possible! No one's ever been able to cast that!"

"Except for yours truly," said Megumin. Just then, she collapsed as the Explosion got closer and closer to its target.

"No!" said Rikka. She shut her eyes and braced for impact. But it never came.

Rikka opened her eyes and gasped. The Dark Flame Master had partially undone his bandage. A dark aura in the shape of a dragon extended from his arm, holding the Explosion in its mouth.

"I can't hold on much longer!" said the Dark Flame Master. "The Dark Flame dragon is trying to take over!"

"Hang on!" said Rikka. She swung her Schwarzsech onto the Explosion, making it shift further away. Dekamori realized what her master was trying, and added her hammer. Mori Summer summoned a swarm of faires to push back, and Kumin joined in with her weapon.

"All together!" said Rikka. The five of them focused every ounce of their power, and pushed back, sending the Explosion right back to where it came from, much to the surprise and horror of the adventurers.

"What the...!" said Megumin, who was lying on the ground. "It can't be! No one's ever been able to deflect Explosion before!"

"Except for us," said Rikka.

The adventurers panicked as the Explosion rammed into them. The projectile created a huge expansion of light and sound, and a wave of heat hit the FEMNS hard. In other words, it was an explosion.

When the Explosion cleared, the adventurers lay in defeat, all on top of each other. The FEMNS cheered as they relished in their victory.


	3. A simple resolution

"How..." Megumin was on all fours in front of Yuuta. "How did we lose?"

Aqua was currently bawling her eyes out, while Kazuma was conversing with Dekamori.

"So, can I have my panties back?" she said, pulling her skirt down.

Kazuma thought to himself, debating his options.

"Maybe..." he said.

"Why, you...!"

Darkness was currently lying on the ground, panting.

"That... was... amazing," she said.

Megumin sighed.

'"All the same, you have bested us," she said to Yuuta.

Yuuta awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

"You know... we didn't actually need to do all that," he said.

Everyone looked at him questioningly.

"I mean, I can think of a much better way to go about this,"

_A considerable amount of time later..._

"...and what's the club name?" said Nanase

"The Far-East Magical Napping..." Rikka began.

"...Adventurers Guild" finished Megumin.

After this was all set down, and the nine of them settled into their room, Aqua was sobbing on Yuuta's shoulder.

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" she said, her eyes full of happy tears.

"Uh, you're welcome?" Yuuta said awkwardly. He looked at Kazuma. "Is she always like this?"

"She is," said Kazuma. "She's as whiny as she is useless,"

"I'M NOT USELESS!" exclaimed Aqua.

"You know, Kazuma, you seem to be a pretty level-headed guy," said Yuuta "I mean, why do you hang out with such a weird bunch?"

"Ah, now that's a story," said Kazuma. He sat down cross-legged in the middle of the glowing blue circle. "It all started the day I met Aqua,"

"Oh! I remember that!" said Aqua, interrupting Kazuma's monologue. "Back then, you were a shut-in gamer with no social skills, let alone friends,"

Kazuma cleared his throat.

"Well, yes, I was. You see, it all started when I was walking home from the game shop, and I saw Aqua crossing the street,"

"He was overwhelmed with my divine beauty, without even knowing that I was a goddess," said Aqua, proudly.

"Uh no. I saw a truck coming down the road, headed right towards her. Without thinking I ran up and pushed her out of the way..."

_Kazuma opened his eyes to the bright sunlight. He felt the hard sidewalk under him._

_"Uh... what happened?" he said to himself._

_"Ah, you're awake," said a female voice._

_Kazuma sat up to see the blue-haired girl sitting in front of him on a bench._

_"Kazuma Satou," she said. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance,"_

_Kazuma said the first thing he thought of._

_"How do you know my name?" he asked._

_The girl gave him a smug smile._

_"The goddess of the afterlife knows everyone,"_

_"You're a goddess?!" Kazuma's eyes widened._

_"Of course I am," said the girl. "I am Aqua, goddess of water and the afterlife. I guide the spirits of those who died early, and allow them to reincarnate as..."_

_"Oh wait, you're just a girl with chuunibyou," said Kazuma._

_Aqua looked offended._

_"It's... it's... none of your business!"_

_"Sheesh, way to talk to someone who just saved your life,"_

_"Oh, you saved my life alright. FROM A TRACTOR!"_

_"Wait, what?" Kazuma looked down the road. Indeed, he could see the back of a little red tractor driving off._

_"You must have passed out from the shock," said Aqua._

_Kazuma breathed a sigh of relief._

_"Thank goodness! I thought I was gonna die!" he chuckled to himself. "It's kinda funny actually,"_

_"Tell me about it," said Aqua, who was starting to giggle. "You passed out from a little red tractor, thinking it was a truck! It's hilarious!" Aqua broke out in laughter. Kazuma joined her for a moment until he realized something._

_"Oh my gosh... if I had died..." he stopped laughing and looked at himself. "I... wouldn't have really meant anything. All I do is sleep, eat and play video games. I... I'm..." he paused. "...Garbage,"_

_"Oh yeah, that reminds me. You see, there's... wait, are you crying?"_

_Tears were falling from Kazuma's eyes. _

_"MY LIFE IS WASTED!" he screamed into the air._

_"Woah! Calm down!" said Aqua. "I have an opportunity for you!"_

_Kazuma looked at her through his watery eyes._

_"An opportunity?" he wiped his tears._

_"Indeed," Aqua flicked his hair. "You see, it was fortunate you ran into me, for I can offer you something that only a goddess can give,"_

_"What?"_

_"I suppose you could call it a new perspective," She got up from the bench. "As the goddess of the afterlife, I offer those with... uh... meager achievement and little satisfaction a chance to be someone valuable,"_

_"Someone... else?"_

_"Sort of," Aqua took out a small brown card with multiple sections as well as some blank spots for numbers and words, like a character sheet in a tabletop RPG. She handed the card to Kazuma_

_"What is this, some kind of role-play?" said Kazuma._

_"It's not roleplay, it's a way of living," said Aqua. She got up from her bench. "All you have to do is sign your name, and your new life begins! Imagine it: adventures, monsters, treasures and more! A whole new world for you to live in. All you have to do is open your mind, and sign that paper," Aqua handed Kazuma a pen._

_"Well... I guess no harm in trying," Kazuma said. He had to admit, what Aqua offered was very tempting. He wrote his name at the top of the card in clear letters._


End file.
